how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
