I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
