Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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