Are we in a gay sports bar?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
