i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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