...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
