Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
