Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
you never un-have a 4some
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
