...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.â€
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
