dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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