If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
one might say we're banned from that church
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
