apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
