Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
