The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
