dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well