I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not