i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
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Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
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Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.