It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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