I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Never joke about your clitoris.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
