I wanna passion pit in your ass
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize