so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.