she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
worst night to have a conscience
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him