Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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