There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.