i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss