bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
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There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
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I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.