Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.