I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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