Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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