I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
