didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
