u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
