omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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