Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
