i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
