Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
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We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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