I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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