Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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