This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The beer is more important than you right now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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