I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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