I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
