The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
PANTIES FOUND
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