my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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