It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
