he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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