After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
