he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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