oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
That's when you crack a 10am beer
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
