What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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