Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
