went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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