32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
