My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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