I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
