went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
