I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
