How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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