billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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