brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just cropdusted the office
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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