So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
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You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
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No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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