so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
