Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
what day is it and did you see me today?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
