why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
