Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
