I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
