She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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